Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
