We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
