For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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