Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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