i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize