As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
