Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
