Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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