Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
