Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
