"it" just moved
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
