you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize