saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Barsexuality is the new black.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?