now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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