Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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