Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
