I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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