The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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