I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
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