I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
