I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize