okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
