I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
