i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
