Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
