I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I love having hate sex.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
