Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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