My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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