I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
