Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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