Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
