I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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