Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
