We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
