i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
