I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
