i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
