There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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