I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
