weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So apparently I’m into choking now
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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