She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
either way he was missing a nipple.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
