her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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