i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
