let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
