Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
