I need help removing her.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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