Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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