Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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