what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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