I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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