They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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