garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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