Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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