not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
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It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
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P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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