we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
