she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
