Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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