Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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