Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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