so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
