I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you traded sex for a burrito?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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