well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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